The society we live in today, isn’t exactly new, the world being the same that the generation of yore trod on, we inhabit today, and will be inhabited by generations to come. Better still, we are still the same human beings with the same genetical make-up, albeit living in markedly different circumstances.
The cardinal question however is: Are we living in a manner reflective of the hope that the world will be “left” a better place than we found it, or, are we increasingly getting caught up in a bad inertia, some form of cosmic and human drama churning out chaos for today’s living, confusion and uninhabitable conditions for tomorrow’s generation?
“Traditions are the guideposts driven deep in our subconscious minds. The most powerful ones are those we can’t even describe and aren’t even aware of.”
Ellen Goodman
Taking a walk back in time, as a kid (and like all others in my age group, or before), I remember with nostalgia the collectivist society I grew up in. The emphasis on societal values, cultures, endearing norms and cultural activities were so profound, they were ruthlessly enforced, fiercely protected and defended by all. This reflected even upon how even rather casual introductions to strangers happened. One would ask, “Who’re you, where from…?” To which one answered, “I’m X, son of Y, from Z clan…!”
Everything was done with a bigger picture in mind, relationships were personal and intense, yet seen through the lens of the greater good for the whole society that emphasized its per-eminence. Even the unorthodox individuals still played within the acceptable web that the interwoven and acceptable cultural values dictated, formed. This meant that, the society spun itself around on a strict moral path that simply starved errant habit, cancelled out irresponsible behavior. The majority won on this alter of acceptable habits, which albeit unwritten, were still religiously followed, ruthlessly protected through generations, and everyone knew their space and position in the society. The old were evidently elderly, and they were wise, experienced and so revered. The men and women of age ensured their strength was demonstrated in the way they took care of the society in different forms: they hunted /sought for food, married right, sired children and if need be, fought off attacks to the society. We, as the children grew up under keen mentorship by the general society. We played games that enhanced our creativity and strengthened our resolves, filled us with hope for the future of becoming more.
As a young man, I remember too well the sessions around “duol” (luo word meaning the fire pit) where the people sat after evening meals, and the old would speak wisely about this and that issue, or the elderly men would narrate to us “sigana” (luo word meaning folk lores), life’s lessons were taught, those noticed to harbor bad behavior rebuked or punished. These prepared boys to become men, not just by growing into it, or through some form of rite of passage, but by loading into us the vital lessons that we needed to navigate life with. The same happened to the young girls with the mothers, and/or the women folk in the kitchens, and other settings.
“Tradition is comforting. It’s solemn, steady and unwavering.”
Will Peebles
This seemingly perfect setting wasn’t lacking in challenges: the downsides existed, but the supreme rule with which the society encountered the challenges was that of positivity, such that it faced up to them as a collectivist society that it was, weathered the challenges together, and came out of them stronger, and with vital lessons that enforced the core values and endearing positive socialization. There was dignity, respect for greatness, and reverence for what civilization most honored.
This seems to be slowly getting confined to the graveyard of abandoned fads. The sayings like “strength in numbers,” or “old is gold,” seem to hung upside down on the cross of our highly individualistic, uncultured, leaderless, morally shattered society, where hopes of oneness, inclusivity in our approaches, preservation and upholding of moral values are crucified.
So, as I drove down Kiambu road one evening on 15th July, 2021, I encountered school children, standing in clusters, seemingly flagging down all motorists as folks drove past them. It struck me that they certainly weren’t just hailing matatus (Swahili for public transport) and my first instinct, against the recent cases of kidnappings, was that these rather innocent school kids were altogether exposing themselves to dangers little known to them. So, I pull over and different clusters disintegrate as the kids run to my car, scrambling for space. Four children quickly get in, and without as much as greetings, some say their names, others say “God bless you…! Junction please…!” At this point, I serve four masks (although they had evidently overused masks on) and we set off down Kiambu road, with me, four boys from Karura Primary School. I challenge the boys and indicate to them that I’d actually charge executive chauffeuring fees, to which one of them says, amidst sarcastic laughter by the others “we’ll pay more…. with God’s blessings…!” I’m instantly so humbled and I decide I’d detour and take these boys to their final destination.
While enroute, I get to learn a lot: these boys hail from Githongoro slums, just bordering the posh Runda estate, and to my shock, they say to me that “wazito hukaa hapa” Swahili for “heavyweights live here…” These boys decided to see their surroundings, if circumstances through rather positive lenses of the promise of a better future, and an endless hope insured by commitment to pursue education and individual talents, in essence subordinating their limitations to the opportunities presented to them. I also get to learn how unsympathetic we are: sometimes these children, due to economic hardships, are forced to walk to school, or have to deal with exorbitant fares especially when matatus hike fares when it rains, and good Samaritans are hard to come by. And they share in the same fare as thousands of our young.
Suffice to say, that I learnt a lot and made great friends in these boys.
“The more things change, the more they remain the same.” Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr. See, the world is sure grinding forward, we are increasingly getting socialized, the effect of globalization more real than ever. Technological advancements promise to deliver the next most disruptive innovation and invention every second, while the flow of information, if even fake news is such that we can hardly stand still in the fast flowing steam of men, machine, information and civilization. The moral and ethical fabric that molded and held the society together is a tattered version of its former self, the journey of life seemingly quite convoluted, it’s hard to decide which one of us ought to reform or guide the rest of us.
Whereas the changes in the form and composition of the society, if even with the add-ons like technology inadvertently mean that what we are dealing with are markedly different, we can be confident and safe in the idea that we still are the same humans, and the world still has its fair share of nature and natural forces as it did before us. Ideally, we humans are at the center of what we must care to address in order to “win” in this business of life.
Whereas the traditional collectivist society, and its approaches may be invalidated by the current socialization, we can leverage the same objectives, if outcomes, by taking advantage of technology, and the infrastructure that ensure even more rapid interactions. The “duol” and kitchen settings of “yesterday” maybe the graveyard of abandoned fads, BUT technology and healthy social media apps may as well be the alternative, and hence the crosses where human interactions and restitution hung “today”, and upon which our dreams for strengthening connections, positive socialization, creative means to living in the current circumstances may occur.
Here’s to you:
Intentional Parenting.
We parent the way we are parented. However, in the current socialization, there’s situations where we are orphaned, or simply brought up by single parents. These exceptions however mustn’t define who we become. There’s a flood of positive information out there, and the possibility of learning from others exist. What we MUST arrest, is the tragedy of getting sucked-up by the excesses of life, and the demands of other pursuits that prevent us from living balanced lives. There’s evidence of homes with both parents but where children grow up just like trees do in a forest: the evident changes in size (growth) of the children through the passage of time occurs, but development-wise, they are crippled.
Embrace Mentorship
We all are walking chalkboards that constantly emit lessons, and get drawn-on some in equal measure. Living is most exciting, and ultimately most worthwhile, when our aims transcend our own self-interests, when we strive forward in the service of something far greater, towards goals that possess genuine merit. We MUST find great causes and serve then unhesitatingly to achieve both self and collective lasting satisfactions. We dignify our existence through serving, not by being served, and by helping others sense the marvels that sleep within them.
Have a sense of Proportion.
We mustn’t limit our achievements, and that of others by doing “small” things and leaving big things go undone, worry about trivial issues instead of significant ones.
“First-rate accomplishments do not spring from second-rate aspirations.” To raise a great family, an excellent society, a headstrong organization, lies in investing conscious effort at achieving those elevated objectives, and so in finding the greatest recipes for the endeavors, and disciplining oneself to tend to pursue them ahead of the distracting activities.
Derail the Bad Moral Trains, Reset the Ethical Compass to destination “Success.”
“Always do the right thing son,” my father always cautioned. “It pays to be a winner. And legends make themselves by forging themselves constantly through legitimate, hard-work,” I tell my son.
The society we live in today seems lost in some world that’s made of warped sense of right or wrong, disgraceful values, self-serving purposes, and where our dominant aspirations (success, wealth, property) seem to be optimistically advertised with banners that say “have me quick, now.” In essence, breeding a microwave generation that’s devoid of the patience that it takes to achieve and harness lasting success/satisfaction. Thus, we are navigating life with broken compasses!
Cultivate and keep deep inside of you, a reliable internal guiding system – a compass that works, pointing out the best path around life’s challenges, and towards success. Say NO to bad company, “left” that unhelpful boys/girls club, or that WhatsApp group and replace them with either productive activities or a group of “new” friends.
In summary, there’s hope for a better future IFF we pursued the TRUTH: As Red Adair puts it, “Life isn’t having it made; it’s getting it made. Each NECESSARY task requires an effort of will, and with each act, something in you grows and is strengthened.”